Counting Down until Midnight...

11:42~that is exactly 18 minutes until midnight. 18 more minutes to reflect on the end of a decade in my life...my 50s. I think I just turned 50, though! Wasn't I just sitting on the beach at the Turtle Club in Naples celebrating my 50th with my sister and her family, my parents, and friends, the Kesslers? I remember that night vividly. It was beautiful outside on the patio, watching the sun set over the gulf of Mexico. We took pictures of my nephews sitting on a wall by the beach, bathed in pinkish, golden light. We still have those pics, and they evoke a lot of nostalgia whenever I see them. Perfect setting, perfect weather, perfect company, really nice birthday (except that Bob and my girls weren't there...boo.)

Where in the heck did 10 years go so quickly? Did I blink too slowly and miss them? I don't really remember turning 51, or 52 or 53...or any other age up until 58, then 59, and now...gulp...the BIG ONE tomorrow. And it's now 11:50, so I only have 10 minutes!!! Yikes!!! Write fast, Mare! (I'm channeling my friend Lynne here, who always calls me that.)

What happened in my 50s that was memorable? Let's see...I gained a new son-in-law as my oldest daughter married her high school sweetheart, Tommy. I gained two new wonderful canine companions, Holly and Lucy. I lost one feline companion, Bella. :( I lost two dear friends to cancer, Gretchen and Angie. Gretchen I saw regularly, and was able to enjoy her friendship and share our faith quite often. Angie I had known well in my younger years, and we had just reconnected over the past few years as we ran into each other occasionally, and then through facebook. My heart aches over the loss of both. I also lost dear friends Lee and Jeff to a move that they made back to their original home in Kansas. But now they have moved back so that is a huge gain...they are in the process of buying a house right down the street from us! This, after losing touch except for Christmas cards and letters over the years. I gained through three years of having my parents move to this area and live close by, before moving back south a couple of years ago. I am in the process of gaining another son-in-law as my baby girl is getting married to her sweetheart, Brad, in June. Yippee!! And perhaps best of all, I gained two beautiful, precious, treasured, delightful, fun as a barrel of monkeys, loving grandchildren! These two are such bright and shining lights in my life, bringing joy beyond measure.

Uh oh, 11:59!!! Should I just stop and wait until the clock turns over? Wow, tick, tick, tick...there it went! Aughhh!! I am officially 60! And I am starting to cry as I type. I wonder why? I have never shed a tear over a birthday in my life, so why now? This just feels huge to me for some reason. I think it's because a lot of this past decade has been spent in focusing on the needs of my family due to some intense changes in their circumstances, and just recently God has opened my eyes in a very big way to a whole new avenue of ministry that focuses on the needs of young women. I have always had a heart for young wives and moms, but I believe that there is so much more in store for me to do in this area. I have so many ideas that they are literally falling over themselves trying to get out of my head in order to gain legs in my walk.

I think another reason for the tears is because I always imagined 60 to be on the darker side of living...the sundown side, so to speak. You know, in the seasons of life, there is spring, summer, fall, and winter, and 60 is beginning the winter time period of my personal history. At least that is what I always imagined. But, somehow it doesn't feel that way at all now that I have arrived. I still feel as young as I did at 20 and 30, when life was a long road before me and anything was possible if I only believed. I know that neither of those things are true anymore, but I still feel as young in my heart now as I did then. I'm just a whole heck of a lot wiser, and not through any of my own doing, that's for sure. Life is hard, it's not fair, but it is very good, because we have a very good God who is in charge of every breath that we take.

12:10...time for bed. Big day tomorrow with my sweet Liz and precious grandkids coming over to play and have lunch, and then off to dear friend Corky's for dinner with my very wonderful birthday group friends. Next week, a 'surprise' party given by both of my lovely girls because they are smart enough to know that their mom loves parties, and naive enough to think that they could pull it off without me finding out. I am asking God for something special tomorrow. I ask Him for it every year, and amazingly, He comes through. Can't tell what it is, though. It's something that only He can do, and it surprises me every year, even though I have asked in advance...it's just between the two of us.

Thank you Lord for one more decade, one more year, one more day, one more breath. I can't begin to express my gratitude, but I can try just the same. And to all a good night...

Back in business!

I am going to start posting again in my blog before they shut me down like they did my daughter! I was inspired after reading my friend Jenara's blog this morning, realizing that God did call me to this a couple of years ago. When I had to stop due to my neck and back injury/issues, it just seemed too difficult to start back up once I was out of the writing mode.

So much has happened over the past year in the way of direction and guidance from the Lord in my life, that I am anxious to get back onboard as far as documenting it, and sharing with others who may be experiencing some of the same things.

So stay tuned!

I just want any followers to know that I haven't quit writing, but am limited to computer time as I have a neck/shoulder injury that keeps me from typing comfortably. I keep thinking of stories that I want to add to my blog, but know that I just can't for now. I will be reading yours however! :) XOXOXO

Whichever Way the Wind Blows~

Just a quick story that happened the other day....

I was doing my usual jog on the bike path, and stopped for a drink at the drinking fountain, so graciously provided by a service group in the village. I was really hot, thirsty, and that water was looking good! There was a strong wind blowing, which was nice for cooling off, but when I turned the fountain on, the force of the wind coming against the water arc blew it backwards, making it really difficult to get a good drink.

I was a little exasperated until I figured out that if I leaned way forward and turned my back to the wind, it blocked it enough to allow the water to come out as it should, and that way I could actually get a decent drink. As water quenched my parched mouth and throat, I began to think about the parallel of the Lord Jesus being the Water of Life, as He described Himself to the woman at the well.

You know, I understand that, because Jesus has quenched my spiritual thirst in a way that nothing else ever could. But, He doesn't force Himself down my throat, so to speak. In order to benefit from the Water of Life, I have to make the decision to drink, and beyond that, to block the obstructions that so readily get in my way. There are any number of things that change the direction that I need to take in order to fully imbibe the life of Christ. Busyness, a desire to do things that are more entertaining, distractions from family or friends-all of these things seem to change the direction of that life-giving water, and if I don't position myself correctly by closing them off, I am unable to receive from Him.

Just a reminder to myself that while Jesus gives me all that I need, it's my responsibility to take it in (or to block the wind) in order to partake of His daily gifts of sustenance.

First things first

My American Eagle necklace

I should know that when I ask the Lord to take over my day and show me HIS agenda, that He is most definitely not going to miss an opportunity to do just that, especially since He must get a tad annoyed when I stick to my own so often without even thinking of asking Him how he wants me to spend the hours and minutes in my day.

Today, after having been away on vacation for a week, I felt a compulsive need to clean the entire house. In fact, after getting home over the weekend, I could hardly wait for Monday to get here so that I could get going! During my quiet time this morning, I did give the Lord permission to plan my day, but was pretty darn sure that He wanted my house clean as much as I did, so wasn't too worried about a change in plans. While zipping from room to room collecting trash, stripping beds, etc., I saw a pile of dress shirts still in their wrappers that I had brought home from the mall for my hubby. I HATE getting those shirts out of their wrappers, unpinning the zillions of pins that they use to secure the shirt (why is that???), unbuttoning the buttons over and around the tags that are twisted by string around said buttons, and then finding yet more cardboard in the neck, body, etc. that I thought I had already removed. I was hoping that Bob would unwrap those suckers over the weekend, but nope, there they were. Then I also noticed the new pants that I had bought him that needed to be hemmed before he can wear them. Can I tell you that I like hemming pants to about the same degree that I enjoy going through a root canal? Not to mention that I saw several clean shirts hanging by the wardrobe that needed to be ironed.

But, there was the still small voice in my mind that reminded me that I should be putting first things first, which in this case would be getting Bob's wardrobe in order ASAP so that he would be able to wear his new clothes. Sigh. Double big sigh.

Before finishing this story, I need to take you back lots of years to a time when we had returned home from vacation, and I realized that we were out of dog food. I ran to the store and bought several cans of whatever it was that our schnauzer, Bogey, was consuming at the time. I opened the first can, and to my disgust, it was filled with a blue bag of what looked to be gel of some sort. I was so ticked, and rushed downstairs to find Bob and spout off about the fact that no one did their job right anymore, as evidenced right here with this particular can of dog food. Now Bob, being the investigative type, immediately pulled out the bag of gel, and wrapped up inside was *gasp* a beautiful mint edition American Eagle gold coin! Me, who never wins anything, winning a very valuable coin in a can of dog food of all things! Long story short, my in-laws had given me a lovely gold chain and so after fitting the coin in a bezel, it became my favorite necklace. It did cause a dilemma for me, as I had a nice cross that I often wore, and when I wore the coin instead, I always was a little apprehensive that I was choosing mammon over the Lord. :) But, that didn't stop me from wearing it anyway.

Last year, I was switching over jewelry from my old box to a new one, and realized that my coin necklace was nowhere to be found. I hunted high and low, as did Bob, but no necklace anywhere. We scratched our heads, puzzled it over together, and looked again, but it had just disappeared! I was sad, but decided that somehow it had been misplaced and hopefully I would find it again one day.

Back to the main story. As I finished up hemming pants, unwrapping shirts, and then ironing ones that were already clean, I was getting ready to close up our ironing board into the space where it is recessed into the wall. Catching a glimpse of something shiny laying on a little ledge at the bottom of the recession, I peeked down under the board to see what it was. You know, don't you? Yep, there it was in all its shiny glory...my coin necklace!!! After calling Bob to whoop it up with him, I realized something. By putting first things first, that is, keeping my priorities of serving others before myself, God had given me the most wonderful reward!

Now we all know that every time we step out in service to others we don't get tangible rewards. But this weekend I had been thinking a lot about how important it is to let our husbands know that we treasure them and that they are first in our hearts when it comes to human relationships, even before our kids. So it doesn't surprise me that God grabbed this opportunity to show me that He does, indeed, desire for me to treat my guy as though he is the most valuable gift from the Lord to me. And the reward is even better than finding something materially valuable that has been lost. The reward is that you keep something of eternal value from ever becoming lost, that is, your relationship with your husband, who is your special gift from the Lord. Everyone in agreement, say Amen!!!

What to do when you don't know what to do...

I always pick a scripture for each member of my family, including myself, at the beginning of the new year. I then make a laminated prayer card with a picture of each member and their scripture so that I can pray for them regularly. This year, the scripture that I picked for myself is:
"Wait for the Lord, and keep His way, and He will exalt you to inherit the land." ~Ps. 37:34
I love this verse for me at this point in my life, because I am one of those persons who feels validated by accomplishing things that are measurable, and right now, that is just not happening. At least in the way of Christian Service and Ministry. Notice that I capitalized those words, mainly because in my mind, and in the minds of many others, those words define ways that we serve the Lord that are obvious, and as I said already, measurable. As in:
~Today I had a prayer team meeting and we were able to set lots of goals for the year.
~Today I helped to serve dinner at Water's Edge Outreach to lots of hungry boys and girls.
~Today I taught a Bible study to many women who are eager to learn from God's Word.

Am I being clear here about what I mean as far as serving the Lord by wearing lots of hats in Christian Service and Ministry? I love those labels such as "Prayer Team Leader" or "Director of College Ministries" or "Titus 2 Women's Ministry Leader". The reason I love them is because they give me a real sense of what I am accomplishing and I can check off of my "to do for the Lord" list any number of things that look substantive.

The only problem is, there are times in my life (and yours) when I am not able for any number of reasons to rack up points in the "Service for the Lord" column in those ways. And when that happens, I struggle with a sense of worth and value in my own eyes, although I know that isn't right. At this point in time, I feel strongly that the Lord is urging me to stay in a quiet place of availability for those who might need me, primarily family and friends, for any number of reasons. To avoid getting involved in anything that requires my time and attention on a scheduled basis so that I am free to help out wherever I'm needed. Also, free to take more time in sitting at His feet (which I'm having a hard time doing, because I am a DO-ER, not a SITTER), and praying, and meditating.

I went for several months trying to figure out what I should be doing in the way of ministry since I had experienced a change in my circumstances that had closed several doors. Rather than jump into the first, or second, or even third thing that came along, I decided to just wait and pray and see what the Lord might want me to do for Him, rather than me telling Him what I ought to be doing. I claimed that verse from the Psalms, and am feeling better all the time about having waited rather than jumping into any number of things with both feet. A Christian Service and Ministry opportunity just arose recently with the local MOPS group that I am very excited about, and I am so glad that I am able to say yes because I have the time available to do so.

So when you're not sure what you should be doing to serve the Lord, remember that every part of your life can be a service to Him. Folding laundry, writing notes of encouragement to someone who might need it, ironing shirts for your husband, playing in the park with your kids, sitting at the Lord's feet in prayer or just in listening mode, all these are things that are sacrifices of love that the Lord receives as an offering poured out before Him. Just wait, and He will open the doors. If you open them yourself and get ahead of Him, you just might run into some brick walls, and that's a lot more painful than sitting and waiting.

One Thing!

I decided a couple of weeks ago that I needed to make a few lifestyle changes, but also knew that they would need to be simple and easy. I am getting to the point, sadly, where it is very hard to teach an old dog new tricks, as we old dogs have tried most of them already and rarely have they become daily habits.

I am a fairly disciplined gal, but find that I often start "something" and then life gets in the way, and since it hasn't become part of my routine to the extent that I do it without even thinking (like brushing my teeth, taking my vitamins, etc.), that "something" just disappears into oblivion. So, having prayed recently for help with some new healthy endeavors, I came up with the idea of adding to or tweaking my normal fitness steps by making a list of "One Things" that I could do on a daily basis. These "One Things" would have to be uncomplicated, quick, easy to remember, and fit into any part of my day. They would need to be in addition to the disciplines that I already do regularly, which are an hour of walking or jogging, a time of devotion and worship, and then just the normal daily chores that go along with keeping a home and family in good running order.

So, here is the list of "One Things" that I came up with, and that I can recite without looking at my cheat sheet that is on my counter to remind me just in case I forget~

ONE set of sit-ups
ONE dose of fruits and veggies (5-6 servings)
ONE serving of water for cleansing and hydrating (6-8oz. glass 8X per day)
ONE apple
ONE playtime of @15 minutes with the doggies

Remember, this is in addition to the normal walking workout and the attempts to eat in a healthy manner every day.

I have been doing pretty well with following through on each one, but if I miss one, I generally have done the others, so at least I'm hitting about 90%. I figure that if I do these things regularly, they will become habit forming.

I'll let you know how I'm doing after a few more weeks. Are there some simple "One Things" that you could incorporate into your day that might add up to some major changes in your life? Let me know what you think!

"...one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 3:13-14